How to build a internet dating service
As Finkel and his colleagues state, you may make “lazy, ill-informed decisions” because you’re selecting from such a large group of potential matches.The mindset you develop in this process can also cause you to think of a romantic partner not as a person but as someone who is easily interchangeable with someone else.
As you flip through those profiles, you’re not necessarily pausing and studying each one as carefully as you would a real person.Online dating sites help fill the gap that our busy lives have created in our search for connection.Online dating services are not only convenient, but they also have the apparent advantage of using systematic methods to match us with the partner of a lifetime.Unfortunately, when it comes to online dating, there is no safety in numbers.Because you’re not meeting actual people, but instead examining their profiles, you’re not going through the normal give-and-take that occurs when people meet and talk for the first time.To find out how best to use online services, we first have to examine their strengths and weaknesses.
Finkel and his collaborators critique the three main areas in which online dating services claim to be superior to the offline, or old-fashioned, way of meeting people in person.
The information you provide about yourself now describes who you are today, but it may have little to do with who you are in 10 or 20 years.
People develop in myriad ways throughout their lives, in response to changes within themselves over time and changes in their life circumstances.
Some feature might pop out at you (particularly appearance) that causes you to think “Next?
” When you make a decision about who to establish communication with, it may not be a particularly well-informed one.
In a recent comprehensive analysis, Northwestern University psychologist Eli Finkel and collaborators claim that online dating sites not only don’t improve, but may even hurt those seeking happiness in their relationships.